Because I'm having that moment.
Like any normal person, I basically searched for triggers from where I know I would get them from (because I've obviously moved on and left everything behind me and I won't let the past get to me anymore). Then when I all of sudden (...) started to feel horrible, I realized that there's no one that could actually help me with this. People who know at least parts of what happened can't hear about this because I would die, and people who don't know.... I don't wanna get them into this mess, that's actually years old.
So I'm fucked.
To elaborate on how fucked I am..... I skipped school again. This time it was the whole day though. I don't even know why. I would love to say it was because I went to bed around 3am and just couldn't be bothered to get up in the morning.... But it's a bit more than that. For a week I've constantly felt sick and angry and horrible and I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore. This is ridiculous. I don't wanna hurt myself anymore, but also... I don't know. People obviously can't help me anymore.
I think I'm past the point where I can just take my anger out on innocent pillows.
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